Mom’s health decline may have come as a sudden, unexpected shock. Or, the niggling signs have been there for a while now. In either case, it’s obvious that even with the assistance of family and at-home caregivers, she can no longer care for herself. It is time to explore the long-term care options.
The emotions that come along with such a decision are diverse, and whether you are experiencing overwhelming guilt, grief, or relief, it is perfectly normal. For her part, Mom may have strong opinions about her care, be passive about the situation, hurt that her children cannot care for her, or cognitively unable to be part of such a huge decision.
With the unique factors of what this stage looks like for your loved one and yourself in mind, here are some important questions to ask yourself and tips to consider as you set out to place your loved one in the best possible care option.
Is everyone aligned with this decision?
What level of care does Mom require?
Researching and choosing the right facility.
Does this align with Mom’s personal preferences?
What does the financial landscape look like?
Is everyone aligned with this decision?
The step you are about to take will affect many aspects of Mom’s life, and likely the lives of other family members, as well. Therefore, it’s a great idea to have an open conversation about this move with everyone involved.
Having the emotional and practical support of family during this time is extremely helpful. It is worth investing time and effort to resolve disagreements about this development between family members. That way, they can help ease some of your burden and possibly come up with creative solutions in addition to the ones you are considering.
Being honest about your ability to care for Mom will remove guilt conscience and allow your emotional capacity to increase and deal with the current stage. With Mom’s needs being top of mind, you are now proceeding to provide her with excellent care of a different sort.
Treating Mom as the adult she is and not making major decisions without her input, as challenging as that may prove to be, is important. Try to choose an opportune time to discuss this step and truly listen to her feelings, concerns, and preferences, even if they are irrational. Although dealing with her possible dissatisfaction with this decision is challenging, the transition is usually a lot smoother when the elderly individual feels listened to and validated.
What level of care does Mom require?
Assisted Living or Nursing Home?
While nursing homes provide all-encompassing care, your mom’s current health picture may be a fit for an assisted – living community. The care provided in such a setting, with its communal setup and structured activities can go a long way in preserving her sense of individuality and independence.
On the other hand, when there are complex health concerns requiring full time care in a nursing facility, there are excellent options which provide social and recreational opportunities within a stellar healthcare network, as well.
Carefully evaluate where your mom’s current capacities are right now, as well as the speed of her health decline, to decide which is right for her at this time.
Researching and choosing the right facility.
When evaluating long term facility options, it is best to obtain information from a variety of sources.
- ☛ Even if a nursing home boasts a five-star CMF rating, it is a great idea to speak to families and patients within the facility, as well.
- ☛ Listen carefully to understand the attitudes, respect for patients as well as the overall safety measures that are part of each facility’s experience. Although your main objective is the health care and safety of your loved one, being in an environment conducive to their emotional calm is a vital part of overall wellbeing.
- ☛ In-person visits are a great idea, so you can get a feel for the true vibes at the facility. It’s a great idea to visit during mealtimes, when patients are out of their respective rooms and interacting with the staff members.
- ☛ If a live tour is impossible, try for a virtual tour of the facility so you can observe the patients and staff in action. Of course, if Mom is up to it, she should be included in this step of the research process. Listen carefully to her observations and feelings about specific facilities, as her comfort is the chief priority.
Does this align with Mom’s personal preferences?
- ➜ Is Mom afraid of being alone, or does she prefer privacy as much as possible? The answer to this will help you decide whether to consider only private patient rooms or be okay with shared quarters.
- ➜ Does Mom enjoy the company of pets, or is she scared of animals like dogs? If she is uncomfortable around pets, an assisted living community where many of the current residents own dogs will put Mom ill at ease.
- ➜ Is it important to Mom’s comfort that the family visit often? If yes, you may decide that a facility located near your residence is a better choice than an option further out with a higher level of care.
These decisions are far from clear cut, however, having a full picture of Mom’s needs will ensure your decision is a well-rounded one.
For professional assistance with the decision-making process, you may choose to consult with a senior living advisor.
What does the financial landscape look like?
Are you aware of Mom’s financial situation?
If you don’t, it’s important to find out. Once you understand what her financial landscape and insurance status include, it is a good idea to find out whether she is eligible for assistance via Medicaid.
Although many families pay for senior living care out of pocket, the costs are astronomical, and private health insurance, Medicare, and VA benefits can help pay for some of these costs. Medicaid, on the other hand, is the ideal solution for those unable to afford the cost of long-term care.
Still, although it can remove the huge financial burden from your family during this stage of life many are daunted by the complex Medicaid application process.
For more information about your loved one’s eligibility or for professional assistance with this process, reach out to Senior Planning Services at 855-775-2664 or via email: info@seniorplanning.com.